I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
