from now on my penis is your penis
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
