So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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