I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
