he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
