Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
