Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
