I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
