I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
