Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
