I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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