Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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