My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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