This is not my ceiling
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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