so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize