wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
