Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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