dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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