moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
