Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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