Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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