I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
