I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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