I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
