A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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