bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
false alarm, still single
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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