If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
