windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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