yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
