Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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