"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
