Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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