I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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