I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
