I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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