nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
