how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
