There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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