do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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