It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
