i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
