I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
