everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
