hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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