i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize