Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
