At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
