Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize