real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
