If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
