Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
