Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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