So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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