tell your sister to shave her snatch
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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