Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
