my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
