I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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