from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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