wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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