Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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